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November 30, 2014


Wow... I know the feeling because a lot of Brazilians are like that -- very judgmental. And the most annoying thing about some "typical Brazilians" is that they love to share their opinions and suggestions with everyone. Sigh... Thankfully my family members aren't very much like that, just a little. ;-)

I can imagine it's hard to "detox" after one of those visits. When we were dating, whenever there was a vacation of extended period in which I spent a lot of time with my mom, K always said that it took a long time for me to "detox" and not be too much like my mom. I think he really likes the fact that we live very, very far away (9K miles!) from both our families. ;-)

My little sister picked up some of that, we have no idea from where, because our family is the least able to judge someone else's dress/expression/decoration/tv viewing/tidiness etc. We suspect it may have come from being a popular girl and a cheerleader. Luckily most of her friends tell her to knock it off when she does it (I'm always very apologetic and swear she wasn't raised that way!), and she's been doing it less as she gets older. Mostly now she just criticizes me, and I laugh because if I cared I would have done something...

You don't like brussels sprouts? What the heck is wrong with you? Okay, just kidding. That constant negativity is exhausting to deal with and separate yourself from. I'm sorry that's an aspect of being with your family. I hope you recover quickly at home!

One of my friends did a wonderful blog post about this issue, very thoughtful, very smart. http://professorshih.blogspot.com/2014/11/on-racism-at-thanksgiving.html

I hear you. I haven't gone to my family's for Thanksgiving for several years (first because of money, now because it's our first holidays in our new house), but I totally know what you're talking about. I'm afraid my way of coping has long been to have start drinking (wine) early. (By the time everyone's ready to start arguing and being judgmental, I no longer care.)

So all I have for you is big giant cyber hugs. Take good care of yourself. I find the detox period to be essential. You rock no matter what they say. Don't feel bad if you don't feel your family is a home, a safe space, for you. I don't.


Thanks for your comment! I wrote a post responding (or trying to!) -- immediately, in true ADHD fashion... sigh!

Oh. I totally get this. I love my family, but sometimes... lordy.

EE, I do in fact always drink more wine when I'm visiting my family. So the "detox" is kind of literal as well as metaphorical!

Oh. I totally get this. I love my famili

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Who is this What Now?

  • I'm an English teacher at Fabulous Girls' School (FGS). I'm a convert to Judaism. I am partner to D. We live in an adorable, messy little house in Adventure City. Two cats -- the Muse and the Contemplative -- live with us and keep life at home plenty adventurous.

    Email me at whatnowblogger at yahoo dot com.

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