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August 04, 2014


Oh WN, I'm sending you a cyber hug. I too feel old and am mad/worried about my body!

I don't know if this helps at all, but instead of vulnerability, I think of it as sensitivity, at least since I started reading about highly sensitive people. The idea is that about 20% of many animals, including humans, are highly sensitive -- feeling all things more acutely and therefore being more sensitive to pain and a lot of other things. This definitely helped me stop thinking of myself as traumatized or messed up in some ways in comparison with others. For me it was more about non-body issues, such as really getting agitated and so needing to be quiet in many places with a lot of people or having more extreme reactions to things that most others took in stride. But it also includes being more sensitive to pain as well. I wonder how many people have existing health issues, for example, but just plow on through them. I read a long time ago (I think it was Marilu Henner's Body Victory, but I'm not sure) that those of us who get sick quickly are the lucky ones, because other people get sick and keep going until their unresolved condition immobilizes or kills them. To me this is just sensitivity on the bodily level.

I'm so sorry about your plantar fasciitis. That is no fun at all. When I started having feet problems two years ago, I got Birkenstocks and pretty much wear nothing else now (except winter boots). It really helped. And tendonitis! Awful! What can you do but read more?!

I hope you get some more vacation. Rest is good.

Reframing make sense. And I do hope you start feeling stronger.

Does a massage help? (For me, a massage helps more psychologically, I think. It feels like I'm being good to myself, if that makes sense.)

I really like this post WN - I have been feeling the same way for months and I am working on acceptance. I have a chronic medical condition and I think I have been tying to pretend my medication will fix it and I can ignore it, when my overall stress and lifestyle contributes just as much. I am trying to stop comparing myself to people who are "healthier" for example. But I feel like my body has betrayed me and I wonder how much my lack of trust in it keeps me from embracing the things I need to do to get better

That reframing sounds like one which will help you to be more gentle with yourself. Sending you wishes for health and tender care.

I was busy + traveling last week so I missed this post. I'm "only" 43, but I feel this fragility approaching too. I have really really bad knees and my hands/wrists are getting weaker (I have a hard time lifting heavy pots). Sigh... I agree with you that thinking of your ailments in terms of "vulnerability" versus "fragility" is a good way to approach this.

I can't believe that your fall in Costco was 2.5 years ago, I remember it well, and it feels like it was more recently -- time does fly!

I'm glad things are better now (as you latest post can attest to).

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Who is this What Now?

  • I'm an English teacher at Fabulous Girls' School (FGS). I'm a convert to Judaism. I am partner to D. We live in an adorable, messy little house in Adventure City. Two cats -- the Muse and the Contemplative -- live with us and keep life at home plenty adventurous.

    Email me at whatnowblogger at yahoo dot com.

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