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August 16, 2009


I feel exactly the same way about Facebook. I haven't had to heal from anything as horrible as what you went throught at (and in leaving) St. Martyr's, but Fb has allowed me to let go of some of the awfulness and self-esteem issues I had surrounding grad school and a couple of specific relationships at various other points in my life.

It's funny that you see this as reaffirming a core sameness in your identity and your relationships over time, though; I tend read it as my establishing a *new* kind of relationship with people with whom I had a complicated past, and/or as my having misread or misunderstood their feelings about me way back when.

This was a great post, WN - thanks for sharing it! I too have had a healing of sorts over FB - with my former step-sister. I didn't realize how much that antagonism had haunted me until it was resolved...

Very interesting. I have assiduously avoided creating a Facebook profile. But there is a part of me that wonders if some from my past might not be inclined to get back in touch. I've often felt that I am the one occasionally looking for them, wondering what they're up to, where they are in life.

I'm over the shame and embarassment of being an academic wannabe, failing for years to gain an appointment, which led me to want my head down, and ears closed to "so, what are you up to these days?"-type questions.

But, like you, I have reinvented myself many times. Chapters I call them. I realized only yesterday that I've had my current blog (OFI/OFO) longer than it's predecessor (PhDBlue). Maybe it's getting to be time to join the FB revolution. Hmmm...

I've found much of the same to be true. No healing overtures from the school that shall not be named, but people from high school coming forward and saying they want to be my facebook friend and that they admired me in high school for being so independent (which, at the time I interpreted as they rejected me as a freak). Nice to get that kind of stuff--even if it's sort of water coolery.

Lovely post. I also find the hodge-podge nature of FB really fun -- more than I ever thought I would. But those melding of lives/selves can sometimes be so enjoyable and meaningful! I like how you have expressed that experience here.

Of course, there are also the stalker FB experiences, which I have also had. Sigh.

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Who is this What Now?

  • I'm an English teacher at Fabulous Girls' School (FGS). I'm a convert to Judaism. I am partner to D. We live in an adorable, messy little house in Adventure City. Two cats -- the Muse and the Contemplative -- live with us and keep life at home plenty adventurous.

    Email me at whatnowblogger at yahoo dot com.

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