... because I now know I should have been a technology consultant, so that I could rake in oodles of money to go to a school, talk with various folks for a couple of days, and then a month or so later come back to the school and give a presentation that says this:
- It's important to have a vision of what you want technological integration to look like in your school.
- Once you have that vision, it's good to set goals to help you achieve that vision.
- It's also important to set aside time to achieve those goals, really making them a priority.
- Oh, and professional development should be ongoing.
- Once you've taken these steps, you'll have achieved technological integration. Yay!
Wow, no one could ever figure this out on their own; thank goodness there are consultants to tell us these things!
This "are ya kiddin' me?!" blog post brought to you by an actual, real-life consultant who presented at this afternoon's faculty meeting. Oh, and lest you think that the vague generalities above are because I'm maintaining blogging discretion and pseudonymity -- oh no, this is a not-even-exaggerated version of his power point presentation. There was stunned silence afterward as he called for any questions; there wasn't even anything *there* to ask about! The only question I could think of was, "Umm, where's the actual substance of your presentation?," which I decided would be rude to ask, and clearly everyone else was of much the same mind. Now, in fairness, he may have had actual useful information to give to the Tech Department, with whom he had a separate meeting, but academic technology was supposed to be one of his primary areas of focus, and he really had no more to say than the bullet point above.
Normally I would have headed straight home after the faculty meeting and would thus have stewed about how outrageous it was and wondered how much we paid this guy for his drivel, but fortunately the faculty folk band had a rehearsal tonight, so instead I joined my friends (some of whom are actual musicians, unlike me) and played ukulele for an hour and a half, which was way more fun than stewing alone. And then, since D. had a school meeting tonight anyway, I went from rehearsal to the dining hall and had dinner with these and other colleagues (ah, the advantage of teaching at a boarding school!), where we bitched and moaned about the consultant but did so in a mostly humorous and not bitter way.
And the one comment I heard from every single faculty member I talked with this evening? "Dang, I should have been a consultant!"