The last month has been one hell of an emotional rollercoaster, but we're hanging in there, and there's nothing like living through hell to make one feel a new sense of appreciation once the hell is past. My fellow bloggy independent school teachers -- Anastasia and MeanSomething and Jackie -- are all taking D's horrible story as a reminder to be grateful for what's good about their schools, and I've been doing the same with mine.
So here's my gratitude list today:
- I have colleagues who were horrified by the awful Crazytown stories last week, and the couple I've told about the firing have been so supportive and sympathetic and said that she is well out of there. And you all, my bloggy commenters, have also been so wonderful and supportive! So this is a reminder that Crazytown was, in fact, crazy, and that people in the real world -- at least some of them -- are decent.
- I shot my mouth off a little bit in an administrative meeting this afternoon -- just got the bit between my teeth about some misleading language that an administrator was using -- and even though I was totally right, I do wish I'd been a little more restrained ... but I had the wonderful sense as I drove home that obviously my outspokenness wasn't placing my job in any jeapardy at all, that in fact there were some people who valued my speaking up.
- We ate grilled cheese sandwiches for dinner last night and tonight -- made with roasted garlic bread, and all melty and delicious -- the best comfort food ever. Not that I want to eat my feelings or anything, but there was something almost primordial about feeding the body when the soul was hurting. And really, as long as there's grilled cheese, nothing can be too terrible, right?
- Despite my mind being a million different places these days, classes have actually gone really well the last few days. In fact, we're now far enough along that the groups of students are melding into class communities, and we're having fun.
- And honestly, here's the biggest thing to be grateful for: This morning, as I was on my way out to school, I looked in on D., snuggled up fast asleep in bed, and I was so filled with happiness and gratitude that today she would be safe, that no one would hurt her or berate her today, that she would be surrounded by the comforts of home and the snuggliness of our cats rather than destructive and unhealthy chaos. All day long I rested in that gratitude, and the mixed feelings of yesterday were all gone -- only peace remained.