This morning I sat on the couch and cried -- literally tears rolling down my face as I sobbed -- over the whole stupid business about the head of school's saying that the FGS history project fell apart because I was mean. Why did I decide to get myself all bent out of shape about this again, two months later? Who knows? Probably because it's summer and I seem to have to review the whole year and relive the bad moments.
So I figured I was tired and cranky, so I went back to bed. But first, I brought all sorts of books into bed with me so that I could think through some decisions about my AP Lit course for next year. And I reread Coleridge's The Rime of the Ancient Mariner, which I hadn't read since college. (Dang, it's weird!) All of this was very self-soothing, and I gradually wound down enough to take a short nap.
I woke up and ate a belated lunch but was still hot and cranky, so without thinking through the decision -- because if I'd thought about it, I wouldn't have done it -- I hauled the air-conditioning units up from the basement and put them into the windows. Miserable job, but over in half an hour if I just power through. And somehow sweating that much worked the rest of my irritation out of my system.
And then I poured myself a glass of wine, sat down in the shade of the back porch to cool down, and finished writing and posting my comments for the year, thus wrapping up almost all of my official work for the school year. And there were a bunch of FB friend requests from the new graduates, which was sweet.
Now I'm perfectly content, but also worn out emotionally from the ups and downs of the day. Here's hoping the rest of the summer involves less crying.