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January 30, 2013


You mainly wanted the chair job because nobody else did and you didn't want an outside chair. You thought about what it would take for it to be worthwhile for you to be chair. That was your walk-away point. Someone else had a better offer, from their perspective. And that's good! You're not being rejected, they just couldn't meet your needs and they could meet someone else's. It's the combination of characteristics, not just your level of awesomeness compared to another person's. (And this is someone you said you'd be happy with as chair-- so win-win!)

Now don't be disappointed if it isn't a meeting to let you down easy. And don't let them negotiate you down to something you don't want.

N&M, you are absolutely right! Last night I let myself get mopey for just a few minutes of thinking, "Well, clearly they just appreciate M. more than they do me ... and maybe they're right, because she is probably a more flexible employee than I am (in terms of being able to do a few things, like coach and run student productions, that I can't bring myself to do), but that doesn't mean she'll be a better chair. Boo hoo." And then after about 5 minutes of that, I said "Enough. This is silly. It's not about whom they appreciate or value more, it's about putting together a total department that will run the most smoothly next year. And they already know that I'm going to be in the department, and I had assured that that maintaining my status quo for next year would be fine, so I can't be pissy if they take me at my word."

But I'm still going to reread your comment as a pep talk right before the meeting which is in less than 3 hours!

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Who is this What Now?

  • I'm an English teacher at Fabulous Girls' School (FGS). I'm a convert to Judaism. I am partner to D. We live in an adorable, messy little house in Adventure City. Two cats -- the Muse and the Contemplative -- live with us and keep life at home plenty adventurous.

    Email me at whatnowblogger at yahoo dot com.

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