The FGS English department hosted three English teachers from a local Catholic girls' school this morning; they observe classes in the morning (including one of mine, which I'm happy to say went very well indeed), and then we all gathered over lunch and chatted about the sort of things that English teachers at nearby schools chat about -- the kind and range of students we have, our curricula, other elements of our professional life, etc. A very nice get-together (although I'm completely wiped out this evening from the extra busy-ness on my already-busiest teaching day of the week).
The students at this other school have to take theology every year on top of the other usual subjects, which of course is perfectly reasonable in a Catholic school. One of the FGS teachers asked what they covered in the theology curriculum: whether they had electives, whether they covered world religions, etc. (and the answer on all fronts was "no"). So here's the amazing thing they then told us (with some embarrassment on their part): The junior year theology course is called "Women's Catholic Spirituality" or something like that, and one of their big projects in that course is ...
... (wait for it) ...
planning their weddings!
We all looked at them blankly, and then one of my colleagues said, "I'm sorry, what did you say?"
And they repeated it. No, we hadn't misheard. These high school juniors all have to plan their future weddings.
This same colleagues said, "You mean, like planning the menu and the dress and everything?"
Yep.
My department chair, clearly getting wound up at this point, said, "And I presume that all of these weddings have to be heterosexual?"
Oh, uh, yes. At this point, one of the visiting teachers said apologetically, "It's a pretty conservative school."
We politely moved on then conversationally, but this curricular moment kept re-occurring to me at odd moments for the rest of the day, at which point I'd alternate between shocked laughter and horror. I'll confess that I told the story to a few of our FGS juniors who were gathered in my room, just for the fun of seeing their faces and hearing their gasps.
Later in the afternoon I talked with another departmental colleague, who is herself Catholic and went to parochial school and who lives really close to this other school, which means she has a hell of a commute to FGS. So working at this other school would be much more convenient for her. "But," she said, "after you've taught at a progressive school like FGS, there's just no considering working at any other sort of school." So, so true. Not that FGS is perfect, of course, or doesn't have room to grow, but at least we don't have 16-year-olds picking out their bridal veils!
WOW.
I mean, WOW.
I can kinda - kinda! barely! - see the point of a theological exercise in which you had to come up with a wedding *ceremony* that expressed a theological point of view - what should a ceremony to celebrate a lifetime commitment look like? But planning it as a social event????
UGH.
(A little disconnected, but I was frustrated recently by a blogger who was blogging about how useless she felt because she couldn't fulfill Jesus' ministry. And how ultimately she realized Jesus was in her *even though* she was single. And I was kind of like, what the HELL does marital status have to do with anything?? Well, I didn't say that to her, of course, but I thought it. Loudly.)
Posted by: New Kid on the Hallway | December 11, 2012 at 09:41 PM
I believe this, because a good friend of mine went to a Catholic high school and had to do exactly this. Also, one of the teachers (I think an actual nun) told her that girls didn't need math.
True story. I even know which school it is and everything. Wonder if it's the same one?
Posted by: Firstmute | December 12, 2012 at 07:05 AM
Ugh. Just UGH. I bet the local Catholic boys' school doesn't have them planning their weddings.
Makes me extra glad you found a home where you did, What Now? :)
Posted by: bardiac | December 12, 2012 at 08:05 AM
wow... 16 year olds?
In our boarding academy (religious, but not over conservative) seniors have a class project that they do with a partner (boy-girl) in which they also have to plan their wedding & life together (including furnishing house,etc) -- but it's mostly in terms of budget and learning what it takes to "start a life." They make these binders with photos and stuff and while I thought it was a bit weird (I found the binders laying around in the hallway last May), I was not completely taken aback. And it was a co-ed project, not all girl. Most pairs were not couples. Still heteronormative, of course.
Posted by: Mama(e) in Translation | December 12, 2012 at 09:10 AM
FFS. This makes me really sad for the state of religious school education. Angry and sad.
Posted by: Janice | December 12, 2012 at 09:17 AM
I'm with New Kid - there are actually theologically appropriate ways one could do that assignment (even picking appropriate wedding music and analyzing the theological content of the lyrics!) but the dress and all that? How in the world can they justify that as "theology"?!?!?!?! If they want to do that, make the girls take home economics and do it in that class - but even the most conservative Catholics I know would be upset at that assignment because that is not what they should be wasting their time in theology class on! (then again, I'm a theology nerd - I'm more upset that the girls aren't getting a full theological education as evidenced by this assignment than I am about the ridiculousness of a wedding planning assignment - although as a single 30 year old, I do think it is ridiculous in that sense too)
Posted by: Ally | December 12, 2012 at 10:12 AM
This is just so wrong in so many ways. Not only the heteronormativity, but the overt commercialism, and the... what could you call it? marital-normativity? Working something like this into a high school curriculum is a powerful way of communicating that This Is What You Should Be Prepared For In Life, as opposed to a more thoughtful discussion of the significance of marriage in the first place. I mean, even in a conservative Catholic context, one would think you would want to take marriage seriously enough to not blindly push 16-year-olds into planning the wedding without thinking about the commitment that it represents. (Maybe they do that too, but that seems like something both sexes should receive preparation for but as a carefully considered option rather than an assumption, and NOT in a way that encourages them to do it as soon as they have a sufficiently large crush on someone.) Good grief.
Posted by: Pilgrim/Heretic | December 12, 2012 at 12:22 PM
Oh I believe it. It's sick. But it sounds JUST LIKE the world we live in. So disgusting. I am getting whiplash from all the head shaking I do these days.
Posted by: Fie Upon This Quiet Life | December 12, 2012 at 02:07 PM
My little sister went to an all girls Catholic high school, but their religious studies teacher had a PhD in religious studies, so they learned... religious studies. (In a previous life he had dropped out of divinity school and I think had converted to Protestant or something.) No wedding planning. Their math team also came in fourth in state when she was there.
Posted by: Nicoleandmaggie | December 13, 2012 at 02:21 PM
Wow. I went to a girls' Catholic high school, and while there was plenty of gender socializing, there was no wedding planning. That's something to be grateful for!
Posted by: Susan | December 13, 2012 at 06:32 PM
K, I teach theology at a very conservative christian school and all I can say is what. the. hell.
Posted by: Anastsia | December 15, 2012 at 09:48 PM
Wow. Just wow.
Even my evangelical Christian school didn't make us do this.
Posted by: Sara | December 19, 2012 at 08:53 AM