Bons mots

  • "We live as though the world were what it should be, to show it what it can be."
    ~ Angel, "Deep Down," Season 4

  • It is difficult
    to get the news from poems
    yet men die miserably every day
    for lack
    of what is found there.
    ~ William Carlos Williams, from “Asphodel, That Greeny Flower”

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December 11, 2012

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WOW.

I mean, WOW.

I can kinda - kinda! barely! - see the point of a theological exercise in which you had to come up with a wedding *ceremony* that expressed a theological point of view - what should a ceremony to celebrate a lifetime commitment look like? But planning it as a social event????

UGH.

(A little disconnected, but I was frustrated recently by a blogger who was blogging about how useless she felt because she couldn't fulfill Jesus' ministry. And how ultimately she realized Jesus was in her *even though* she was single. And I was kind of like, what the HELL does marital status have to do with anything?? Well, I didn't say that to her, of course, but I thought it. Loudly.)

I believe this, because a good friend of mine went to a Catholic high school and had to do exactly this. Also, one of the teachers (I think an actual nun) told her that girls didn't need math.

True story. I even know which school it is and everything. Wonder if it's the same one?

Ugh. Just UGH. I bet the local Catholic boys' school doesn't have them planning their weddings.

Makes me extra glad you found a home where you did, What Now? :)

wow... 16 year olds?

In our boarding academy (religious, but not over conservative) seniors have a class project that they do with a partner (boy-girl) in which they also have to plan their wedding & life together (including furnishing house,etc) -- but it's mostly in terms of budget and learning what it takes to "start a life." They make these binders with photos and stuff and while I thought it was a bit weird (I found the binders laying around in the hallway last May), I was not completely taken aback. And it was a co-ed project, not all girl. Most pairs were not couples. Still heteronormative, of course.

FFS. This makes me really sad for the state of religious school education. Angry and sad.

I'm with New Kid - there are actually theologically appropriate ways one could do that assignment (even picking appropriate wedding music and analyzing the theological content of the lyrics!) but the dress and all that? How in the world can they justify that as "theology"?!?!?!?! If they want to do that, make the girls take home economics and do it in that class - but even the most conservative Catholics I know would be upset at that assignment because that is not what they should be wasting their time in theology class on! (then again, I'm a theology nerd - I'm more upset that the girls aren't getting a full theological education as evidenced by this assignment than I am about the ridiculousness of a wedding planning assignment - although as a single 30 year old, I do think it is ridiculous in that sense too)

This is just so wrong in so many ways. Not only the heteronormativity, but the overt commercialism, and the... what could you call it? marital-normativity? Working something like this into a high school curriculum is a powerful way of communicating that This Is What You Should Be Prepared For In Life, as opposed to a more thoughtful discussion of the significance of marriage in the first place. I mean, even in a conservative Catholic context, one would think you would want to take marriage seriously enough to not blindly push 16-year-olds into planning the wedding without thinking about the commitment that it represents. (Maybe they do that too, but that seems like something both sexes should receive preparation for but as a carefully considered option rather than an assumption, and NOT in a way that encourages them to do it as soon as they have a sufficiently large crush on someone.) Good grief.

Oh I believe it. It's sick. But it sounds JUST LIKE the world we live in. So disgusting. I am getting whiplash from all the head shaking I do these days.

My little sister went to an all girls Catholic high school, but their religious studies teacher had a PhD in religious studies, so they learned... religious studies. (In a previous life he had dropped out of divinity school and I think had converted to Protestant or something.) No wedding planning. Their math team also came in fourth in state when she was there.

Wow. I went to a girls' Catholic high school, and while there was plenty of gender socializing, there was no wedding planning. That's something to be grateful for!

K, I teach theology at a very conservative christian school and all I can say is what. the. hell.

Wow. Just wow.

Even my evangelical Christian school didn't make us do this.

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Who is this What Now?

  • I'm an English teacher at a pretty darned good high school (the justly famous Fabulous Girls' School, or FGS). I am partner to D. We live in an adorable, messy little house in Adventure City, where we are hoping to have more frequent adventures than we have thus far. Two cats -- the Muse and the Contemplative -- live with us and keep life at home plenty adventurous.

    Email me at whatnowblogger at yahoo dot com.

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