... to 2012, that is.
2012 mostly sucked. There was the fabulousness of the South Africa trip in March, which was amazing in so many ways and must not be underestimated, but that was pretty much the only really good thing that happened this year. Otherwise, it was basically a slog from January right on through December (with an extra little slump at the half-way point when I spent all day of my 45th birthday crying in July).
And pretty much all of the suckiness boils down to D's professional life. There was the horror of her grad school experience and that was a such a hard kick in the gut that she's really only now getting her breath back after an autumn of recovery. Things looked better career-wise in November, when she was applying for what could have been a really rewarding job that she seemed to have an inside track for ... but then the executive board that was doing the hiring started imploding before her very eyes, and sure enough a couple of weeks ago she received an abrupt email from the search committee chair informing her that the board was cancelling the final interview that she was scheduled for five days later, and indeed that they had called off the entire search and would not be hiring anyone for at least six months. So that was that. Actually, I was flooded with an immediate sense of relief when she got that email, because finally all of the crazy was out in the open and she didn't have to pretend that everything was fine with them anymore. The downside, of course, is that she's still unemployed and unhappy and bored and lonely, and have I mentioned that 2012 really sucked?
All of this is a major factor in this year's iteration of my winter blues, of course. (And thank you for your very supportive and kind comments on my last post!)
But 2012 is on its way out, thank goodness. I have a lot riding on 2013 being better. And by "a lot riding," I guess I just mean that I'm really hoping it's better, although that doesn't sound as dramatic.
I don't think that either D or I will really be happy until she has a job that she feels good about. We try very hard to hold onto the things that really matter in life -- our relationship, our cozy home, our sweet cats, the fact that we can spend hours lying about in our pajamas reading and sipping wine in front of a crackling fire, with Ella Fitzgerald playing in the background -- but in the end, work matters too, at least for people who care about doing good work. And income also matters, quite a lot. Certainly finding employment is at the top of D's New Year's list. But what am I supposed to do? It's frustrating to feel like there's one obstacle standing in the way of one's own happiness but that I can't do anything about it. Sigh. I like fixing problems, but this is one huge problem that I don't have the ability to fix. Did I mention how much the last year sucked?
So we'll eat our black-eyed peas tomorrow (which D. hates, as she does all beans, but we disguise them in spicy turkey chili, so she can pretend they aren't really there and I can rest assured that we are still holding with tradition) and will hope that for 2013, unlike in 2012, they actually do their job and augur good luck in the new year. Fingers crossed.