Going further afield

Well, according to the MLA wiki, I'm now out of the running for all three of the jobs I've applied for. So I can go ahead and cancel my hotel reservation and make plans to be at home the week after Christmas.

I'm not especially cast down by this news; after all, I only applied for three jobs, so I knew the odds were against me. Sure, it would have been nice to be wanted, but I have my ego fairly well in check and was quite sure that my degree and publications and experience make me worth, oh, about a dime a dozen.

All along I'd been planning on doing my serious job market push next year, when D. might be more flexible about where she can go. And thanks to the juicy carrot I accepted from St. Martyr's (you know, the carrot that went along with that great big stick they were whacking me with), I had the financial wherewithall to wait it out this year.

But two things have happened. First, the thought of going on the market next year just does nothing for me at all. It doesn't fill me with anticipation and it doesn't make my heart sink down to my feet. Just ... nothing. And the other thing that's happened is that I've recognized that I *hate* being on "sabbatical" long-term! I lack some folks' writing discipline, and I'm too much of an extrovert to be happy alone all day, and I need some short-term projects and rewards as well as working on long-term projects. One semester of "sabbatical" is about all I can handle, and now I'm beginning to go a little stir-crazy. I'm bored and I miss people and my writing has slowed ridiculously because I've lost energy for it.

So here was the wacky idea I had last week (before I even knew I was out of the running for two of the three jobs): I'm going to apply for non-professorial jobs. Preferably something part-time that involves writing or administrative work for a cause I believe in. My thought is that a non-professorial job isn't something I'd have to put on my c.v. next fall (thus being able to maintain the illusion of  still being an associate professor at St. Martyr's, as my separation agreement allows) and that having structure to my weeks and other types of mental stimulation would actually enable me to get more academic writing done. (The only way I finished my dissertation was by going off fellowship and returning to teaching; I got much more done when I had much more to do each week.) I don't know how many of such jobs actually exist, although I think Adventure City is as good a place as any to look for them.

I knew this past summer when I walked away from St. Martyr's that this might mean walking away from academia forever (given the horrors of the job market for humanities folks), and I made that decision with my eyes wide open, and I haven't regretted it. So at some point I was going to have to start thinking about what happens if/when I don't get another professorship. And I might as well start thinking about that now, when I'm bored and eager for something new to think about, as a year from now when I'm facing the grim reality of "failure." Exploring this option now feels like taking matters into my own hands, making some decisions about the direction of my future, which was part of the thrill of my decision to leave last summer.

I talked this over with D. last week, and yesterday I spoke with my two recommenders from St. Martyr's, both of whom said they'd be more than happy to serve as references for this new type of job search. ("New" for me, that is.) I'm not brooching the subject to my dissertation director, since I think she'd be quite upset at what she would perceive as my leaving academia. But the St. Martyr's folks seemed to understand that this move isn't about leaving behind the academy but is rather about seeing what else is out there and doing so in a way that specifically does not foreclose a return to academia.

So on Monday morning I started my search. Of course, I have no idea how one actually goes about finding the ideal job that I have a vision of in my head; I may need to get a job coach. But in the meantime I did some internet browsing. First observation: most of the jobs that are out there look just hideously awful. I read through ad after ad, thinking "Oh Lord, just shoot me now. I just wouldn't know how to go on living if I had to do that for a living."

And then ... I found a position that actually sounded really interesting. I mean, really interesting, the kind of thing one could sink one's teeth into, that would let one go to bed at night feeling that the day had been spent making the world a better place in a tiny little way. I was unqualified for it, not having the academic field or the experience the ad specified, but I decided to look into it a little more.

And ultimately, I let that ad go. The position is just too far afield for me. But how exciting to know such jobs exist out there! That's the second observation; that the good jobs are in a distinct minority but they do seem to exist. Third observation: In all the looking around I did yesterday morning, it became clear to me that I'm not going to have the exact qualifications that particularly exciting jobs are asking for. I think that very few positions will specify "Must have Ph.D. in American literature and at least five years' experience working in a small liberal arts college environment." But I do think that there are a lot of jobs out there that I would have the skills for (as opposed to the specified qualifications for), and I might be able to talk my way into getting a crack at at leats one of those jobs despite my lack of specified requirements. It makes me feel quite cheerful, even though I'm such a rule follower that I normally wouldn't dream of applying for something that I'm not clearly qualified for; but I'm in a curiously good mood after all of my searching.

And perhaps that good cheer is due to the fact that ... I applied for a job today! The ad that I let go of yesterday was in an organization that exists on a campus of a local college, and while I was poking around on that organization's website I went by the HR job listings at this college. And there was an ad for another position, one for which I'm also not qualified (in that my degree isn't in the field they specify and that I don't have five years' experience in the same type of organization) but that I TOTALLY could do and do really well. I read the full description and thought, "Oh my gosh, this position has my name all over it. I think I could actually do this. And I could have fun. And it would feel like I'm doing something worthwhile. And I'd learn interesting new things. And it would include teaching and research and writing and academic pursuits. And I would be able to tell my academic friends what I'm doing now and hold my head up while I told them. Wow!"

So this afternoon I applied. It took a good 24 hours between finding the ad and applying because I had to write a whole new kind of cover letter and a new kind of c.v. with this position in mind. And then I had to revise the letter substantially when D. read over a draft and said, "Why do you keep pointing out all the ways in which you're apparently unqualified? You don't need to convince them that you're honest and humble; you need to convince them that you can do this job." Quite right.

Yesterday when I was drafting my job materials and lining up my references for the position, I told myself and everybody else that I wouldn't be at all cast down if I didn't get this job, that I didn't meet the specified requirements and so probably wouldn't get an interview, and that the important thing was that I had now put myself out there in this new kind of job market. But after sending in the application this afternoon, I had to be honest with myself: I really will be cast down if I don't get an interview. I'll pick myself up again afterward, of course, and keep on applying, but based on the position description and the program's website, I really do want the job. So we'll see what happens; I expect the turnaround to be much faster than with professorship applications!

And hurrah for me for taking this step (regardless of what happens)! It feels quite liberating, as though I weren't a passive object to be acted upon but rather an active subject with real agency. Imagine that!

Comments

[trillwing]

Yay for revelations!

I'm less than a month into my new staff job at my university. I work with faculty and technology, and I'm really, really liking it, largely because I get to write my own ticket and sort of make up the job as I go. And I never have to grade papers! :)

If you like to write and you're an extrovert, have you considered alumni relations, development (fundraising), or marketing/PR for a university? I think admissions for a quirky small liberal arts college would also be fun. I worked in development for awhile, and I really enjoyed digging into potential donors' files, interviewing current donors about their gifts, and writing articles, press releases, and letters.

Good luck with your search. May you find something that makes you happy!

[BT]

Hope you don't mind if I suggest something: a better method for finding the sort of job you would like is to start networking in fields that interest you, which begins with informational interviews. Rather than applying for advertised jobs, networking allows you to tap the unadvertised job market, which yields much better results.

Also, here is a very helpful website for alternative careers for academics in the humanities:
http://www.beyondacademe.com/index.htm

I have always thought that if I didn't find a TT job in the right place, I would be prepared to leave, so I have done a lot of research on the topic.

[What Now?]

Trillwing, I've actually been inspired by you in taking this step. The only real non-academic job I've ever had as an adult was in development, and unfortunately I *hated* it. But I'll think about your other suggestions, which could be fun.

And BT, I had heard this advice before, and of course I don't mind your suggesting it (and thanks for the website); my problem is that I really don't know what fields interest me! This has been an interesting feature of this whole exercise. I've been in my particular academic field for so long now that I no longer really know what other interesting things are out there. What do I care about? What do I want to do in the world? What kinds of things would I like to do with day? With whom do I want to work? Aack! Who knows?

So much of the project of looking through ads yesterday morning was just to establish for myself that all kinds of jobs do actually exist out there. Stumbling across this one to apply for was simply fortuitous, and clearly I'll need to pursue other avenues in this job-finding project.

[ianqui]

That sounds fun...it seems like it might be exciting to have the freedom to look around in life (for the first time in many years, right?)

Sigh. I think I just have end-of-semester burnout.

[Articulate Dad]

You go! And keep yourself honest. It's okay to be disappointed, even discouraged, when the light doesn't shine where you've planted your seeds. But then, you can always gather more seeds, watch the sun more carefully, and try again. And if the rain won't come when you need it, you might just have to get a hose. It's the trying that keeps you alive, and odd as it seems, there's much to be learned in not quite getting what we want. Who knows when the next try will be golden?

[Pup]

Hurrah for you! I didn't get an interview at the MLA this year either (I applied for ten jobs) even though I thought my freshly minted monograph might do the trick for entry-level assistant prof tenure track...

My statement of research did have some interesting things to say about the rhetoric of the Bush administration so maybe I put off my potential employers who perhaps thought I'd end up a victim of the Patriot Act...

My revelation, even before I applied, was that my top ten list of favourite academic books are all written by non-academics or retired professors. Makes you think what university's all about when that happens...

[trillwing]

Have you ever read the cheesily-titled yet packed-with-good-advice book What Color is Your Parachute? by Richard Bolles? I highly recommend it for anyone looking for a new job, and especially someone considering a career change. It's helped and inspired me through many a tough time.

And me, an inspiration? That's so sweet of you to say.

Again, good luck!

[Medieval Woman]

Hey WN, sorry I'm a bit late chiming in on this, but I wanted to say GOOD LUCK on applying for non-academic jobs this year. I very much know what you mean about one semester of "sabbatical" being enough...

I'll be sending you good mo-jo...