Receiving the Day

I was feeling a little stressed out last night, fretting about the fact that I hadn’t yet done the reading for today’s classes (oops!) and that I had too much to do, and here it was, only the second day of the term. When I got home yesterday, my brain was in a whirl, with thoughts swirling about so frenetically that I couldn’t relax and I couldn’t concentrate on anything else -- not an unusual state for me upon arriving home after the workday. So, since I wasn’t doing anything productive anyway, I did some laundry and browsed around on Amazon.com, looking for the perfect book that I could order and read that would help me become a relaxed and focused person. I found Victor N. Davich’s 8 Minute Meditation: Quiet Your Mind. Change Your Life, which appealed to me because I’d been thinking that daily meditation was an answer; but could I wrap my head around the lack of a hyphen in the title? I continued browsing and stumbled across Dorothy C. Bass’s Receiving the Day, the back cover of which promises “Embrace time as an opportunity -- not an adversary” and which includes chapters on keeping a Sabbath and “experiencing the fullness of time.” I read all of the customer and editorial reviews, and it sounds pretty good. I didn’t buy either book; I’ve learned not to give in to these book-purchase impulses when I’m feeling tired and cranky and want a book to solve all of my problems, but rather to wait a couple of days and revisit the decision.

But I did go to bed last night thinking that Bass’s ideas about “receiving the day” were potentially fruitful for me, since I tend to wish my life away (“Thank goodness it’s almost the end of the week!” or “Life will get easier after February is over”).

So this morning I put it to the test. I had stayed up so late that I overslept and hit the snooze alarm three times before I finally dragged myself out of bed. And it was gray outside and raining torrents. Plus there was that whole hadn’t-prepped-for-classes thing. Not a good start. But while I was waking up in the shower, I decided to try to “receive the day,” to take what the day brought me and not think too much about the future. During my drive through the rain to school, I kept the stereo off, sipped my warm, milky, sweet tea, and occasionally said out loud “receive the day.” (This is probably why it’s good that I commute alone!)

And it was a good day! I don’t teach until 11:00, so I pulled out the book for my first class, heated up the oatmeal I’d brought, and ate a warm and yummy breakfast while reading. I finished in time to write up notes and plan class, and then went into class with lots of energy and enthusiasm for what we were doing that day. And we really had fun; it was one of those classes (both sections) in which I pause for a moment just to recognize that I’m actually having fun. No need to think myself into the future there; the present was perfectly enjoyable.

And then afterward I heated up my lunch and read the afternoon class’s assignment. Once again, I had plenty of time to enjoy the reading itself and to plan what I wanted to talk about. The planning is easier in the afternoon class since I’m running it as a seminar; after today, it was quite clear that my biggest problem is going to be to keep myself from talking too much. I think on Monday I’ll sit on my hands, since I have a difficult time talking without gesturing, so that may be the way to keep myself quiet. This class wasn’t as dynamic and exciting as the morning classes, but in some ways it was more intellectually satisfying since I was watching the students think through things on their own and with one another. All in all, a very good teaching day.

The one bad thing that happened today is an unpleasant bit of news tangentially related to tenure stuff. The tenure issue itself is resolved, but there are still other unsettled questions (which I don’t feel comfortable blogging about yet), and there was a potentially unsettling development along those lines. But -- and it’s an important but -- I stayed really calm when I heard about it, and I have spent very little time this evening thinking about it. The only thing I can do about it at this point is wait a few days, and since I don’t want to keep wishing away my life, that means I’m (mostly) putting it out of my head and continuing to receive the day.

And there’s good news on the job candidates’ front. Our fabulous secretary, working with fabulous secretaries in other departments, found a B&B close to St. Martyr’s, the proprietor of which will beat the price of the local impersonal hotel chain. The stupid administrators actually tried to say that we had to use the impersonal hotel just on general principle, because they’d already made that policy and didn’t want to give us the satisfaction, but they finally conceded. So now all three of our visiting candidates will get to stay in a lovely, historic B&B, where after their long day of interviewing they can curl up in front of a roaring fire and have some refreshing downtime. I’m quite pleased, both on the candidates’ account and on my own, since this is really relieving the pressure I was feeling to show hospitality. (Not that my department was putting this pressure on me -- it was entirely self-generated -- but I was feeling it nonetheless.)

I hope that this language of “receiving the day” doesn’t sound too much along the lines of “as I chant and scatter lavender blossoms, my inner self honors the mother in the moon” or the like; I don’t really mean it that way, but I do think this language could be a useful discipline. This takes me back to an old post (from May, on my last blog site) in which I talked about what D. calls “the background work of the brain.” Her explanation is that our brains are always engaged in background tasks; if we ask ourselves a particular question at least once every day, the brain starts to gather information on that question automatically throughout each day. I was concerned at the time at what the background work of my brain was; at the time I thought it was assessment of mine and other people’s professional competence, and lately I’ve thought it’s also been about wondering when the particular task in front of me or the specific challenge I’m facing will be over. That’s what I mean about wishing my life away. So I’m going to try to train my brain to engage in receiving the day as its background work instead.

Comments

[peripateticpolarbear]

Sounds like a good system for you.

[timna]

I really like the idea..

[Jonathan Dresner]

That comment "recieve the day" makes me think of a song, and I can't think of what it is. I can think of one of my wife's camp songs "We were meant to see the beginning of the day / I believe it was planned to lift us this way / So take you an apple and take you a song / watch the baby day be born." That's not the quote I'm thinking of but it's now driving all other music out of my head.

Sounds like you're doing well, though, which is great.

One ecumenical comment: if you want detailed writings on Sabbath observance and its meaning, you might consider reading some Jewish sources on the topic. There's a lovely short book by Samuel Dresner (no relation, actually) which is a great starting place if you're interested.

[Pilgrim/Heretic]

Wow... your comment about "wishing your life away" really hit home. I spend a lot more time looking forward to how things will be better just down the road, rather than appreciating where I'm at now. I like the "receive the day" approach!

[What Now?]

Thanks for the comments, everyone. Jonathan, I've just ordered Dresner's book from Amazon; thanks for the recommendation.

[YelloCello]

I like the "receive the day" idea very much. Wishing you continued serenity with and through that background work.

[Rev. Dr. Mom]

I'm going to check out Dresner's book, too.

There's a book by Lauren Winner called "Mudhouse Sabbath" that also talks about Sabbath (among other things--Winner is talking about what Christians can learn from Jewish practices). I'm not a huge Winner fan, but I liked this book.

[What Now?]

Rev. Dr. Mom, Like you I am NOT a Winner fan, but I did think there were a few good moments in Mudhouse Sabbath. But ever since her chastity book came out, I refuse to give her anymore of my money.

A colleague of mine who is a modern Orthodox Jew follows strictly the Jewish Sabbath, which is a real lesson to me. Clearly he can and does get his work done in six days of the week, so it's obviously possible if I could ever commit to doing it.

[Gina Hiatt]

I like the "receive the day" idea, and I also enjoyed your description of your day. Thanks!